It will be a year on Saturday since moving to Sacramento, and much like antecedent years of my life, it's been one wild ride. I rarely write journal entries in this blog. I tend to cleave to other people's poems and songs to articulate what's going on internally. Somehow, as I got older, I retreated into myself and no longer felt safe to do what great writers do: write about themselves and their experiences with brutal honesty.
I struggle with this perennially. What kind of artist am I? And, more importantly, do I have the courage to be the kind of artist I want to be? I am often afraid that honesty in my art will come to claim my professional life. Until I realized recently that my professional life isn't making me very happy. Ever since I left the warm, cozy womb of college I've worked in the restaurant industry. For a time, I was exceedingly happy because of short hours, large amounts of cash, being able to take as many vacations as I wanted, and working alongside the best people I'm honored to now call family. This industry taught me grit and resilience. I believe it made me a better person.
I'm nearing a decade in the industry, and after opening this last restaurant in Downtown Sacramento, I am burnt out. The restaurant industry is tough, it's cutthroat, and it takes no prisoners. You have to be a special sort of crazy to be in this line of work. You have to be okay to make sacrifices daily: to your health, to your sanity, and to your integrity. And, holy shit, I love it. But I have to leave it. Not right away, but eventually.
So, I'm making moves to leave my current profession to pursue my first passion: writing. I've been a fickle poet, never submitting work with intention. I submit work when I have time and I don't do my homework on the publications I submit to. I've been sloppy. Well, enough of that.
I started taking online courses in transcript proofreading because I hear and have read that I can make quite a bit of money doing this line of work. It's specialized and in high demand. It's low hanging fruit if you're the kind of person who doesn't mind reading sometimes incredibly boring tracts because you're so excited about catching errors and placing missing commas. It's the perfect job for a neurotic like me. More importantly, it'll buy me the time I need to focus on my own writing. I have so much to learn and re-learn. Language is an evolving organism. There are words recently added to the dictionary that I'm sure will infuriate me. I can't wait for the fun to begin!
And, so, with a fond farewell I bid adieu to this last chapter, and with more than a little bit of fright, eagerly open to this new chapter. You’ll be seeing the launch of a new website, updates as more of my work gets published (watch out for a publication list on the site), and many more blog posts with way less of a filter (this is where shit will get squirrely and wild). For those of you who have stuck with me since the beginning, thank you. For those of you who will continue with me: hold on to your hats.